Dude, That’s Rude! A Simple Guide to Theater Etiquette
Maybe we live in a world where a night out at the theater usually entails seeing the latest blockbuster hit at a multiplex. Maybe our lives have just become too inseparable from technology, what with our emails, phone calls, instant messages and breaking news all coming into one device we can hold in the palm of our hand. Or maybe, just maybe, we’ve just lost all manners living in this dog-eat-dog world. In any case, the state of theater etiquette in this city is appalling and strangely enough, the culprits are theater newbies and theater veterans alike. I mean, when’s the last time you saw a show without wanting to clobber some rude audience member over the head with your Playbill? Whether you’re completely unsure of what’s appropriate in a Broadway theater or just looking for a little guidance, consider these simple tips insurance that you won’t invoke rage and ire from your fellow audience members.
Turn off all electronic gadgets. Despite those cute, clever, show-inspired announcements pre-curtain, someone’s cell phone always rings without fail. This is the ultimate theater faux pas but don’t think a vibrating cell phone is any less obnoxious or noticeable. And remember, the light on your phone is brighter than you think so don’t even think about checking your phone mid-soliloquy for new texts or missed calls. Whatever business you need to take care of can surely wait till intermission.
Keep your feet to yourself. What, were you raised in a barn? Yeah, the legroom in a Broadway theater makes the legroom on a trans-atlantic flight seem spacious but you’re really only sitting there for 90 minutes at a time. Stretch your legs during intermission, stretch your legs before the show, do whatever you need to do but don’t put your legs up on the chair in front of you.
Arrive on time. Again, this is not a movie. The show time on your ticket is the actual start time of the show— there are no previews or commercials here. Do whatever you need to do to be on time and make sure to leave plenty of room for the inevitable traffic or train signal malfunction— after all, train signal malfunctions only seem to happen when you have somewhere to be. Nothing’s a bigger mood killer than having to stand up in your seat during the pivotal first act of the show to allow for a group of 6 latecomers to squeeze through to their seats.
Don’t head for the door before curtain call. How would you feel if you hosted a dinner for a group of your friends and acquaintances and, in the middle of your rather elaborate dessert course, the guests got up and left without so much as a thank you? Angry? Offended? Hurt and confused that maybe you did something wrong? Well, that’s what it feels like for the actors when you bolt for the door at the start of the curtain call. An extra two minutes inside the theater is not going to make a monumental difference in whether you hit traffic or grab a seat at the cute bar across the street so stick around and give the cast the applause they deserve.
Save the snacks for intermission. I cannot stress this enough — going to the theatre is not like going to the movies. This is not the place to eat popcorn, chew candy or slurp a massive soda. Little sounds travel quickly in these spaces, so your chomping noisily on a pretzel in the back of the orchestra may very well be heard by those in the front row and even by the actors. There will be plenty of time to visit the concession stand at intermission. And if you absolutely know you’ll be reaching for a throat lozenge or cough drop during the performance, do the world a favor and unwrap it before the curtain begins.
Be considerate. The golden rule is simple— “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”— and it should be the mantra of theatergoers everywhere. Wouldn’t appreciate it if someone were to step over you to go to the bathroom in the middle of a pivotal, dramatic scene? Use the restroom before the show. Don’t want the guy in the seat next to you to invade your very limited personal space? Don’t hog the armrest. Would it drive you up the wall if the lady behind you kicked your chair for the duration of the second act? Don’t kick the seat in front of you. It’s really that simple.